De Mello's Words:Being A Changed Person

Father Anthony De Mello is one of my favorite writers. He has written some wonderful books and articles. This is one of his articles which i found in the net while browsing.
In your pursuit of awareness, don't make demands. It's more like obeying the traffic rules. If you don't observe traffic rules, you pay the penalty. Here in the United States you drive on the right side of the road; in England you drive on the left; in India you drive on the left. If you don't, you pay the penalty; there is no room for hurt feelings or demands or expectations; you just abide by the traffic rules. You ask where compassion comes in, where guilt comes in all this. You'll know when you're awake. If you're feeling guilty right now, how on earth can I explain it to you? How would you know what compassion is? You know, sometimes people want to imitate Christ, but when a monkey plays a saxophone, that doesn't make him a musician. You can't imitate Christ by imitating his external behavior. You've got to be Christ. Then you'll know exactly what to do in a particular situation, given your temperament, your character, and the character and temperament of the person you're dealing with. No one has to tell you. But to do that, you must be what Christ was. An external imitation will get you nowhere. If you think that compassion implies softness, there's no way I can describe compassion to you, absolutely no way, because compassion can be very hard. Compassion can be very rude, compassion can jolt you, compassion can roll up its sleeves and operate on you. Compassion is all kinds of things. Compassion can be very soft, but there's no way of knowing that. It's only when you become love -- in other words, when you have dropped your illusions and attachments -- that you will "know." As you identify less and less with the "me," you will be more at ease with everybody and with everything. Do you know why? Because you are no longer afraid of being hurt or not liked. You no longer desire to impress anyone. Can you imagine the relief when you don't have to impress anybody anymore? Oh, what a relief. Happiness at last! You no longer feel the need or the compulsion to explain things anymore. It's all right. What is there to be explained? And you don't feel the need or compulsion to apologize anymore. I'd much rather hear you say, "I've come awake," than hear you say, "I'm sorry." I'd much rather hear you say to me, "I've come awake since we last met; what I did to you won't happen again," than to hear you say, "I'm so sorry for what I did to you." Why would anyone demand an apology? You have something to explore in that. Even when someone supposedly was mean to you, there is no room for apology. Nobody was mean to you. Somebody was mean to what he or she thought was you, but not to you. Nobody ever rejects you; they're only rejecting what they think you are. But that cuts both ways. Nobody ever accepts you either. Until people come awake, they are simply accepting or rejecting their image of you. They've fashioned an image of you, and they're rejecting or accepting that. See how devastating it is to go deeply into that. It's a bit too liberating. But how easy it is to love people when you understand this. How easy it is to love everyone when you don't identify with what they imagine you are or they are. It becomes easy to love them, to love everybody. I observe "me," but I do not think about "me." Because the thinking "me" does a lot of bad thinking, too. But when I watch "me," I am constantly aware that this is a reflection. In reality, you don't really think of "I" and "me." You're like a person driving the car; he doesn't ever want to lose consciousness of the car. It's all right to daydream, but not to lose consciousness of your surroundings. You must always be alert. It's like a mother sleeping; she doesn't hear the planes roaring above the house, but she hears the slightest whimper of her baby. She's alert, she's awake in that sense. One can not say anything about the awakened state; one can only talk about the sleeping state. One hints at the awakened state. One cannot say anything about happiness. Happiness cannot be defined. What can be defined is misery. Drop unhappiness and you will know. Love cannot be defined; unlove can. Drop unlove, drop fear, and you will know. We want to find out what the awakened person is like. But you'll know only when you get there. Am I implying, for example, that we shouldn't make demands on our children? What I said was: "You don't have a right to make any demands." Sooner or later that child is going to have to get rid of you, in keeping with the injunction of the Lord. And you're going to have no rights over him at all. In fact, he really isn't your child and he never was. He belongs to life, not to you. No one belongs to you. What you're talking about is a child's education. If you want lunch, you better come in between twelve and one or you don't get lunch. Period. That's the way things are run here. You don't come on time, you don't get your lunch. You're free, that true, but you must take the consequences. When I talk about not having expectations of others, or not making demands on them, I mean expectations and demands for my well-being. The President of the United States obviously has to make demands on people. The traffic policeman obviously has to make demands on people. But these are demands on their behavior -- traffic laws, good organization, the smooth running of society. They are not intended to make the President or traffic policeman feel good.

By De Mello

Kampungku : Tergerus Modernisasi Bablas

Kota, tentu suatu tempat yang ramai dan dipenuhi orang-orang, dan dikota terdapat pula segala macam keribetan gaya hidup. Tetapi, ingatkah kita bahwa kota pastilah berawal dan berasal dari sebuah kampung yang secara jelas bearti kecil dan tak sepenuhnya terjamah oleh kehidupan moderen. Karena setiap kota berasal dari kampung, maka kampung selalu merupakan sebuah memori dan keberadaan yang selalu berada dibenak setiap kita. Maka tak heranlah kita ketika setiap hari raya ketika banyak orang berkata mereka mau ‘Pulang Kampung’ walaupun sebenarnya dia pulang ke Jogja, Malang, Medan yang sebenarnya bukan kampung, tetapi kota. Maka jelaslah bahwa kampung memiliki sebuah pesona dan kekhasanya sendiri. Maka hal ini jugalah yang terjadi pada saya sendiri- PULANG KAMPUNG untuk natal. Memang harus kuakui, kampungku masihlah sebuah kampung.dikampungku yang bernama SANGKE masih terlihat ciri kekampunganya seperti jalan yang masih tanah kuning, Listrik belum masuk(hanya pribadi pake generator) dan tak setiap keluarga memiliki, jumlah rumah dikampungku pun masih sedikit sekitar 80an saja. Dalam benaku, masih terlihat jelas gambaran kampungku ketika aku masih SMP dan SMA, waktu itu air sungainya jernih, pohon besar masih banyak, orang-orangnya masih polos dan tenggang rasa, ikan masih banyak disungai dan orang masih PENGARI (giliran kerja) dalam membuat ladang atau sawah. Dan hal-hal ini selalu membuatku rindu akan kampungku dimana aku dilahirkan. Kampungku waktu itu ibarat oase dipadang gurun. Kampungku adalah idolaku. Dimasa kecilku, aku selalu pergi mancing dengan kawan-kawan dan ikan sangat mudah didapat. Hidup dikampung waktu itu adalah kemauanku yang sangat kuat.
Setiap tahun aku selalu pulang kampung ketika libur sekolah atau kuliah. Aku selalu ingin tinggal dikampung 3 atau 4 hari untuk menikmati kampung dan aku juga sering mengamati kampungku yang kucinta ini. Tiga hari lalu, tepatya tanggal 24 Desember 2007, sehari sebelum natal, seluruh keluargaku pulang kampung untuk natal. Kami sudah mempersiapkan semuanya untuk natal dikampung- mulai membeli daging ayam dan babi, kue dan smuanya. Dan kamipun tiba dikampung dan kami dirumah dimana aku dilahirkan. Dan kali ini aku melakukan pengamatan yang agak seksama tentang kampungku. Kampungku telah banyak berubah dan hal itu tentu biasa saja karena manusia saja berubah, tetapi kampungku berubah ke arah kehancuran karena tergerus modernisasi yang bablas dan tolol. Biarkan kujelaskan mengapa kukatakan demikian. Kampungku yang dulunya banyak kayu dan hutan lebat kini telah tergusur habis oleh perkebunan kelapa sawit yang tolol, warga juga dengan murah dan mudah menjual kayu perbatang pada cukong dengan begitu murah. Maka gundulah kampungku, habislah kayu, dan rusaklah alam kampungku. Mungkin karena orang dikampungku bodoh atau mata duitan sehingga dengan murah menjual kayu dan lahan pada cukong dan perkebunan sawit yang meghisap bagai lintah. Sungai kampungku sudah begitu kotor dan kuning hingga airnya pun tak layak untuk mandi apalagi untuk diminum. Sungaiku rusak karena ulah penambang emas dan intan yang rakus dan lebih jahanam lagi mengunakan mercuri dalam mencari emas. Maka sungaiku sudah hancur total dan ikanpun punah karena habitatnya telah hancur. Maka tak heranlah aku ketika memancing dipagi hari tak satupun ikan memakan umpan pancingku dan kampungku memang sudah payah. Maka ada baiknya kita melihat sisi lain dari kehancuran kampungku. Tidak hanya alamnya saja yang sudah hancur, manusianya dan SDM kampungku pun telah hancur karena modernisasi bablas karena Hantaman Modernisasi TV. Entah aku harus ketawa atau menagis dengan adanya TV di hampir setiap rumah dikampung,karena TV telah banyak merubah gaya hidup dikampungku. Anak-anak sudah bisa berbusana sexy yang wah seperti disinetron, merokok dengan bangga, dan meja biliar pun tersedia untuk bermain judi. Dari tua sampai muda hobi berjudi. Maka kampungku mulai menggali kuburanya sendiri. Dan hal yang paling merusak anak muda dan remaja dikampungku adalah minuman keras- arak- karena hampir tiap malam remaja membeli arak dari hasil kerja untuk pesta pesta sampai mabuk. Maka arak sudah menjadi air putih dan itu menakutkan bagiku yang tak suka minuman keras dan aku percaya itu merusak mental mereka. Maka tak heranlah kampungku tambah mundur. Mereka tak mau sekolah tamat SD pun dan mereka sibuk nyadap karet dan gali tanah untuk cari emas. Maka hancurlah generasi kampungku yang mayoritas suku asli KalBar yaitu DAYAK. ADUH ....MALANGYAN NASIBMU KAMPUNGKU. Maka akupun sedih dan tak berdaya melihat kampungku yang sedang menjemput mautnya sendiri. Sekarang dikampungku, egoisme adalah hal yang paling berkembang, HP adalah hal yang utama yang menjadi prioritas gaya hidup walaupun sebenarnya mereka masih susah mencari makan untuk tiap harinya. Maka benarlah jargon gaya hidup sekarang yang berkata “ aku ada karena aku bergaya” maka identitas dan keberadaan seseorang hanya ada jika ia hidup bergaya. Semua hal yang berbau lama, selalu dicap tak bergaya. Maka bergaya sama juga bearti meniggalkan yang lama. Dan kampungku sedang digerus oleh westernisasi dan globalisasi bablas. Maka layakah ‘Kampung” tetap bernama kampung? Atau ada nama lain bagi tempat yang masih memelihara kekhasanya dan kesederhanaanya ditengah gaya hidup yang semakin edan? Saya tak bisa menjawabnya. Maka mulai saat ini saya sedih dan cemas dengan BORNEO ini, saya cemas akan generasinya yang memble dan melempem, saya cemas ketika melihat semakin banyak kafe-kafe plus prostitusi dipinggir jalan raya, saya cemas melihat gadis-gadis muda menjual diri tanpa sadar akan bahaya penyakit yang mengancam mereka. Mereka hanya perduli pada satu kata: UANG dan tak paham akan pentingya memahami dan mengakui dunia kita ini. Dan proses itu haruslah terus berlanjut.


Peace and Love


Kristian

Dreaming to become A Writer

Recently, I have posted some very-short Indonesian writings in my blog. Since then, I found writing in English is a tough job to do. I always believe in a simple saying which says “I write because I read” and then I spend most of my spare time to read some books on various disciplines to improve my understanding of the world and to get ideas to jot down in my blog. I have always been dreaming to become a writer. I want to become a writer at the first hand to know myself better and to tell the world my ideas. Those reasons have pushed me to keep on learning how to write, write, and write. After reading several books, I understand that the best way to learn writing is by writing itself. No other ways will suffice. So now I am writing just to pleasure myself and to make myself happy. I don’t really know how great writers such as Pramoedya, Shakespeare, Hemingway, and Steinbeck put words together to create such an inspiring story and book. They seem to live in the writing and bring joy to the world. That is why I am eager to become a writer. I have to be frank to myself that writing takes much energy than we have ever thought and it is not a lazy time work. It needs my full commitment and my commitment to improve my knowledge. I am always amazed by the ways Goenawan Mohamad presenting his ideas in his writing. He blends them perfectly. I don’t know whether I can be a writer or not, but I always believe that I can be a writer for myself and that takes me to a better stage of life. Maybe, someday I can say what Pramoedya said “my life is writing, if I cannot write, it means I am not alive. Writing is my breath”. I also want to thank great writers for writing wonderful books that will last forever in my life.

Peace and Love

Kristian

Buku,Buku,Buku

Kata 'Buku' sudah kita kenal sejak kita SD, namun baru sejak kuliah aku sadar bahwa kata buku sebenarnya bisa memiliki makna yang jauh lebih personal bagi seseorang. Dulu, sebelum saya kuliah, saya tidak suka membaca buku karena kebanyakan buku yang dibaca adalah buku peljaran saja dan tentu buku saat itu bagiku adalah suatu kebosanan. Lalu, buku sama sekali tidak bearti khusus bagiku.Ketika aku sudah mulai kuliah, aku mulai lebih jauh berkenalan dengan buku dan saya bisa membaca buku sesuai dengan seleraku. ada banyak pilihan buku yang tersedia bagiku. aku senang bisa memilih buku. pada saat itu , aku mulai belajar bahwa buku merupakan jembatan ke tempat yang jauh dan memuaskan. Saya harus akui bahwa bahasa Ingrris sangat membantu minatku dalm membaca. Dengan mengerti bahasa Inggris, aku dapat membaca Novel Chinua Achebe, Mark Twain. Maka dari sekarang, aku selalu berusaha menyediakan waktu untuk membaca, walaupun hnaya koran saja. Saya ingi terus belajar menjadi pembaca yang baik dan kritis. Maka mulai sekarang buku means much more than ever. Baru ini, saya dikirimka oleh teman saya buku judulnya "Bermain dengan kematian" karangan Gutomo Priyatmono. Saat ini saya pingin sekalimembaca novel Laskar Pelangi karya Andrea H dan buku Goenwan Moehamad yan baru ' Tuhan dan Hal-hal yang belum terselesaikan. semoga saja saya dapat memesan buku itu pada teman saya.
peace


Kristian

NIU Shooting

Few days ago, when I was surfing the net and checking my blog, I was shocked when I read in the net that there was a shooting again in one of USA's educational institutions. I was sad because the incident killed six students and left other victims badly injured. Still fresh in my mind what happened at Virginia Tech which killed an Indonesia student. Now, I ask myself and US's authorities, Haven't they learnt something from Virg Tech Incident. I think it is time for the US to reevaluate their Guns Possession Regulation. It is time to look for the root problems behind the incident. Frankly speaking, in Indonesia, such a case never happens, why can it happen in the US, Which is considered the most developed nation(Modern Country). Nowadays, it is hard to differentiate normal men from insane ones. As I read, the shooter was Stephen P Kamerzack, a graduate sociology at Urbana Campaign University. He was also an honour student at the university. So, if the US do not take actions now, such incidents can reoccur again. Living in today's world is a tough journey to do and so many people are not able to endure the burden and they get frustated. I do not know what is actually going to happen to out sick earth.

Peace and Love


Kristian

Long Absence

It has been months, I have not written anything to be posted in my blog. I feel stucked and busted for the moment. I got no ideas and felt my self becoming more insensitive to my environment. I do not know what to do and write. I would like to say Hi... to all of my friends such Eko, You're rocking man, Yudi, Be quick man, Lissa, Be tough and a special girl named Ice, you're lovely and caring. I am quite bored now with my activities at school. i am tired of teaching my students and a bit angry with them. Life is tough man. This month, i have not read any books and i hate that. I got stuck.